


i stop thinking about myself and i think about you

by cori_the_bloody



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: F/M, One Shot Collection, Oops, also, many of these take place in bed, ratings range from teen to mature, so proceed with caution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 23:50:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13798944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cori_the_bloody/pseuds/cori_the_bloody
Summary: a collection of one-shots all about the rebecca/nathaniel pairing





	1. R/N + Comfort Food

**Author's Note:**

> Normally, I don't post the spoils of the [tumblr prompt memes](http://catty-words.tumblr.com/post/170496851255/send-me-a-number-and-ill-write-a-micro-story) I reblog here on the archive, but ceg is a fandom that sees woefully little fic. So it felt worth it.
> 
> These are all unbeta'd.

Nathaniel’s focus is shattered by the _crack_ of Rebecca’s phone landing on her desk.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes,” she says through clenched teeth, making it obvious that it’s not.

He nods, accepting her answer anyway, and turns his attention back to the case notes he’d been typing up.

A few minutes later, though, she lets out a frustrated growl. He glances over at her just in time to see her trying to rip a file in two.

“Hey now,” he says, standing and crossing around to her side of their office. “Let’s not take our anger out on important documents.”

She ignores his outstretched hand and continues her effort.

“What do you say we go to the supply closet and find you some flimsier and emptier files to rip apart…or, you know,” he drops his voice, “we could find other outlets for your aggression.”

She turns to him, eyebrow quirked, but before she can respond, Darryl pops his head into the office.

“Rebecca, are we ready for the meeting with the charter school client tomorrow? I don’t mean to keep pressuring you about it, but it’s a really good opportunity for the firm. And, you know, if I have an inside man at some prestigious institutions, that’s all the better for Baby Whitefeather when I—”

“I’m on it, Darryl,” she snaps, finally managing to create a tear in the file. Nathaniel winces.

Eyes widening with fear, Darryl starts to back away. “You clearly have everything under control,” he says, though whether it’s directed at Rebecca or him, Nathaniel can’t tell. “We’ll talk later.”

“Rain check,” Rebecca says bluntly, once Darryl’s out of earshot.

Nathaniel’s already settling back at his desk.

“Uh-huh.”

\---

He smiles at the bewildered look she shoots him when he drops a bag full of takeout on her desk much, much later that evening.

“What’s this?”

“Comfort food,” he says, dropping into his rolling chair and waking up his laptop.

“Ooh, extra eggrolls,” she observes, digging in. “You want one?”

“You know that I don’t.”

She rolls her eyes, but flashes him a tense smile. He hates that even that’s enough to set warmth trickling through his chest.

“So my mother called today,” she says after several minutes of silent work.

“Oh?” he asks, trying not to appear too eager for conversation.

“Yeah. Apparently she found out about me becoming a senior partner.” She frowns down at her food, and his brow furrows in response.

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“Oh, well, you know. I can’t do anything right.”

A few responses flick through Nathaniel’s brain, ranging from too sappy to too raunchy. When enough time passes without him saying anything, she returns to her work with a grunt.

“I think…,” he says, finally, “you instituting yourself as a partner turned out to be an excellent move for the firm.”

“Yeah?”

The way she perks up at the compliment, eyes softening, makes him glad he’d forced out the words.

“You provide some much-needed balance. I mean, it’s obvious my whole tough-love shtick wasn’t motivating anybody. But those losers look up to you, so…We make a good team.”

She considers that, a smile splitting open on her face. “Plus, you think it’s super hot when I take charge.”

“Nope.”

“Oh, you so do.”

“Don’t you have work to do?”

She laughs, but doesn’t goad him further.

“Nathaniel?” she says after a while.

“Hmm?”

“Thanks. You know…for dinner.”

They share a meaningful look, and he nods once.

“Anytime.”


	2. R/N + Candles (M)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally, I don't post the spoils of the [tumblr prompt memes](http://catty-words.tumblr.com/post/170496851255/send-me-a-number-and-ill-write-a-micro-story) I reblog here on the archive, but ceg is a fandom that sees woefully little fic. So it felt worth it.
> 
> These are all unbeta'd.

“Wait, wait a second.” Rebecca sits up all of a sudden, almost knocking her head against Nathaniel’s in the process. “Have all these candles been lit since I got here?”

He makes a funny face at her. “Is that what you’re thinking about right now? Seriously?”

“What, you think you can capture my full attention with just your lips? Buddy, have I got news for you. This head of mine? It’s busier than a middle school production of Seussical.”

“A what now?”

“Oh, my god, you lucky soul. If you don’t know what Seussical is, I’m not about shatter that charmed existence for you.”

“Fine by me,” he says, tugging her back down. She flops sideways into him, her elbow digging into his upper arm, but before he can groan in pain, her lips find his.

He rolls them over, pinning her to the mattress.

“So,” she says when he starts to trail kisses along her jaw, working his way to her neck. “Have you—” She breaks off with a gasp when he grazes her skin with his teeth, but it’s certainly not enough to keep her quiet for long. “Have you always owned, like, a million candles?”

“Rebecca,” Nathaniel says, letting out an exasperated sigh into the crook of her neck. “Is this really important?”

“In the grand scheme of things? I mean, it could be argued that nothing is important.”

“Holy shit.” He lifts his head so he can stare her down.

“I’m just saying.”

“Yes, but why are you saying anything at this particular moment?” he asks, trailing one of his hands down her side so he can cup her hip and gives it a gentle squeeze.

She grins. “You bought a bunch of candles so you could set the mood for seduction, didn’t you?”

“Okay, that’s it, I’m going to find your off button.”

“You did!” she says, utterly delighted. “You, Nathaniel Plimpton the Third, are trying to woo me!”

“Can’t hear you,” he says, sliding his way down her stomach.

“I already told you having sex isn’t going to mess with my therapy. You don’t have to go all big gesture on me, silly.”

“Ah, here it is,” he says, settling between her thighs.

She squeaks when he flattens his tongue against her and, mercifully, drops the subject.


	3. R/N + Nap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally, I don't post the spoils of the [tumblr prompt memes](http://catty-words.tumblr.com/post/170496851255/send-me-a-number-and-ill-write-a-micro-story) I reblog here on the archive, but ceg is a fandom that sees woefully little fic. So it felt worth it.
> 
> These are all unbeta'd.

“Nathaniel? Is that you?”

He lets out an undignified yelp and his briefcase slips from his hand. It makes an alarming _thud_ when it hits the ground, and he hopes it’s not his laptop.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, and then clears his throat to distract from the crack in his voice. He can feel his thundering heartbeat in his fingertips.

“I’m…taking a nap,” Rebecca says.

“Excuse me?” Nathaniel asks, switching on a lamp. Sure enough, she’s in his bed, hair mussed and the neck of her t-shirt hanging lopsided off her shoulder. He sucks his lower lip into his mouth to keep himself from smiling.

“So how was work?” Rebecca asks, grinning at him like she can tell how charmed he is.

“It was fine,” he answers.

“How is everyone? I miss those weirdos.”

He raises his eyebrows at her as he steps out of his shoes. “Yeah, you’re not changing the subject that easily. How did you even get into my apartment?”

“Dude. Spare key on top of the doorframe: not that original.”

“Okay,” he says, approaching the bed. “I guess the better question would be _why_ are you here. Not that I mind,” he adds hastily off the way her lower lip quivers.

“It’s stupid,” she says, flopping down and turning her back to him.

Nathaniel stands at the edge of the bed for a long moment before unbuckling his watch, undoing the first couple buttons on his shirt, and sliding off his belt. Then he eases himself down onto the mattress and inches up behind her.

She tenses when he wraps his arm around her waist but after a moment relaxes against him.

“I guess I was just having a bad day or something,” she starts, her voice so quiet that he finds himself pressing his ear to the top of her head in an effort to get closer to the words. “I wanted…I don’t know.”

“What,” Nathaniel asks, rubbing his lips against the crown of her head.

“I feel comfortable here,” she says after a long moment, her breath leaving her body in a gust.

He tightens his hold on her. “Well I can’t say hearing that upsets me.”

She hums in response.

He waits a long time for her to continue, his eyes drifting closed and his mind wandering. He’s almost fallen asleep by the time Rebecca shifts in his arms, jarring him back to consciousness.

She’s definitely sleeping, her lips parted and her hair flopping over her eyes. He smiles to himself as he tries to brush some of it back off her forehead.

“I feel comfortable with you here,” he whispers, unable to say anything more meaningful than that even in the dark, even while she can’t hear.


	4. R/N + Nightfall (BtVS AU)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally, I don't post the spoils of the [tumblr prompt memes](http://catty-words.tumblr.com/post/170496851255/send-me-a-number-and-ill-write-a-micro-story) I reblog here on the archive, but ceg is a fandom that sees woefully little fic. So it felt worth it.
> 
> These are all unbeta'd.

“Well, what do you know? It’s Rebecca Bunch: the good fight’s shining star.”

Rebecca practically jumps out of her skin, dumping her International Relations textbook on the ground as she springs to her feet.

She’s going to get herself killed trying to study during patrol…which might still be a better fate than facing Naomi after she fails all her classes, actually.

“If you’re a fan of my slaying, just wait for me to take my act to the Broadway stage,” she says, forcing out a quavering laugh as she scrambles for her stake.

“Excuse me?”

She finally finds it tucked deep in her legwarmers, and then turns to face the cocky vamp of the night. The first thought to strike her is that he’s way tall and she’s gonna have to get creative to reach his heart.

“You know—the Great White Way,” she says quickly, distracting him from her shock by doing the Charleston. He raises his eyebrows at her. “Nothing, huh?”

“Are you always this off-putting?”

Rebecca nods. “Yup. Pretty much.”

He narrows his strikingly blue eyes, appraising her. “Killing you is gonna be fun.”

She drags in a breath, and then pushes it out with a huff. “Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say. _Oh Rebecca, you’re all I’ve thought about for the last week. I’m gonna remember this night forever, Rebecca_. Why don’t you stop wasting my time and charge me already?”

“You don’t know who I am, do you?”

“I don’t really have time to get attached, dude. You’re about to be dust.”

He grins, her face morphing into that of a yellow-eyed monster, and Rebecca tells herself it’s the leer of the predator telling her instincts it’s time to fight that’s responsible for the excited jolt that zings through her body.

“You’ll have to talk to Paula. This isn’t going to be quite as dramatic as I’d imagined if you’re not in proper awe.”

Rebecca tenses and lifts her stake. “How do you know Paula?”

“I do _my_ homework.”

An embarrassed flush works its way up her neck, but she doesn’t have time to dwell on it because the vampire turns and starts to run away.

“Seriously?” she calls after him. His booming laughter reaches her just as she gives chase.

His legs are so freaking long, and she’s not really able to gain any ground. Frantically, she casts her eyes around the cemetery, looking for anything—anything at all—to help propel her forward.

She’s so busy searching her surroundings that she forgets to pay attention to her target and doesn’t notice when he stops cold. She barrels into him, knocking him onto his back.

The stake rolls out of arms’ reach as she finds herself up close and personal with the enemy and his stupid, smirking face.

Her brain seems to short circuit, and she blinks rapidly, waiting for coherent thought to resume.

“Rebecca,” he says, his voice cradling her name softly. He tucks a stay curl behind her ear, and she sucks in a ragged breath. “I’ll be looking forward to nightfall tomorrow.”

Before she can form a response, he’s slipped out from beneath her and disappeared.

When her hands stop shaking long enough to allow it, she dials Paula’s number.

“Hey, I know it’s super early, but can I come over? I think we have a problem.”


	5. R/N + Pet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally, I don't post the spoils of the [tumblr prompt memes](http://catty-words.tumblr.com/post/170496851255/send-me-a-number-and-ill-write-a-micro-story) I reblog here on the archive, but ceg is a fandom that sees woefully little fic. So it felt worth it.
> 
> These are all unbeta'd.

“Is there something you want to talk to me about?”

Rebecca looks up from her well-worn copy of _Bad Feminist_ to see Nathaniel leaning in the doorway of her bedroom, dangling a bedazzled dog collar off his finger.

“What were you doing in the medicine cabinet?” she asks, and then, off his raised brow, adds, “I mean, I’ve never seen that before in my life.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Must be Heather’s,” she says, burying her face so far into her book that she can’t make out a single word.

“I have so many questions,” he says, sitting by her feet and tossing the collar in her lap. “For example, is this a sex thing?”

She scoffs. “As if I’m ashamed enough by my kinks to try and hide them.”

“So you admit you were trying to hide this.”

Rebecca lowers the book enough to glare at him over the top of it. “Stop that. I’m not on trial here.”

“Well you clearly feel guilty for something.”

“Oh, my god.”

“Rebecca,” Nathaniel says, his voice getting all low and honeyed. When she doesn’t respond after a moment, he eases the paperback away from her face. “Talk to me…please?”

That gets her—it always does.

“I’ve been thinking,” she starts, eyes flitting up to his face and then back down to her lap.

“About?”

“About…about getting a pet.”

His eyebrows practically disappear in the drying hair that’s flopping over his forehead. “Oh?”

“Yup.”

“What, uh, what brought this on?”

“Nothing,” she says. “But also, like everything.”

“I don’t—”

“I’ve been reading a lot about therapy dogs,” she says.

“Are you,” he starts, and then clears his throat. “Do you feel like things might…?”

She sets her book and the collar aside so she can push up onto her knees and kiss the top of his head. “No. No, it’s not like that,” she murmurs into his hair. “I just think it could be good for me. And us. If you want it to be an ‘us’ pet, cause it totally doesn’t have to be.”

“And you’re thinking dog?” he asks, nodding toward the collar.

“I didn’t even mean to buy that,” she says. “It just sort of happened, and then I freaked out about it. Hence the hiding. But…yeah. I’m thinking dog.”

“Do you think we’re ready to be responsible for a living thing?” he asks, and she smiles at his use of _we_. “For starters, we work really long hours. Plus, dogs are messy. And they smell bad from what I’ve heard.”

“From what you’ve heard? Did you not have any dogs growing up?”

“You’ve met my family, right?”

“Right.” They sit in silence for a couple minutes before Rebecca wraps her arms around his shoulders and ducks her head to whisper in his ear. “Think about it?”

“Okay,” he agrees after a beat. “I will.”


	6. R/N + Don't Leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally, I don't post the spoils of the [tumblr prompt memes](http://catty-words.tumblr.com/post/170496851255/send-me-a-number-and-ill-write-a-micro-story) I reblog here on the archive, but ceg is a fandom that sees woefully little fic. So it felt worth it.
> 
> These are all unbeta'd.

Rebecca rolls over in bed, Nathaniel’s fingers grazing her lower back as she shifts under the weight of his arm, and blinks awake.

The early-morning gray filtering through the curtains makes the room look as though the saturation’s been turned way down, and she lifts her head just enough to check the clock on his nightstand.

The glowing green 6:23 makes her scoff. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Hmm?”

“Oh nothing,” she says, nestling back into the pillow and tracing circles on his shoulder. “I just resent you, no big deal.”

“And what have I done to earn this resentment before getting out of bed?” he asks, a frown twisting his lips.

“You’ve conditioned me to wake up before your alarm.”

“Oh, the horror.”

“You joke, but I’m considering putting a ban on weekday sleepovers until you lose this work ethic of yours. It disgusts me.”

He finally opens his eyes to gauge her seriousness, squinting as he adjusts to the light. She juts out her chin and stares at him down the length of her nose. In response, he rolls his eyes and smooths his palm up the length of her back, drawing her closer to him.

“You wouldn’t dare,” he whispers.

She shakes her head, her nose brushing against his. “It’s like you don’t know me at all.”

The arm tucked under her pillow curls in so he can comb through the wispy hairs at the top of her forehead, sending a pleasant tingling out over her scalp. “You couldn’t last a day.”

“Is that a challenge I hear?”

He’s about to answer when the annoying honk of his alarm tone fills the apartment. With a groan, Nathaniel rolls onto his back so he can turn it off.

Just when he’s about to sit up, Rebecca scrambles to throw herself on top of him. “No! Don’t leave!”

His laugh turns into a breathy moan as she shifts, settling into a straddle over his hips.

As she stares down at him with wide, pleading eyes, he cocks a brow at her. “You were saying something about a challenge.”

“Whatever, I’m a big, fat weakling. I admit it. Just…do you really have to get out of bed as soon as your alarm goes off every time?”

“I’m not missing work,” he says, anticipating where this line of questioning is going.

“Okay, so you don’t miss. What about an extra couple hours in bed? Who’s that gonna hurt?”

“Rebecca,” he starts, his hands moving for her hips so he can gently ease her off of him.

She catches his wrists and pins them above his head before he can make any real progress.

“I’m not asking you to do this every morning,” she says. “Just one.” Off his skeptical look, she adds, “Fine. Just once in a while.”

“Yeah, I’m sure your expectations are totally reasonable.”

She tilts her head to the side innocently and then rolls her hips. “Whatever are you implying?”

He grits his teeth, considering.

“One additional hour,” he says after a second.

“Two.”

“One and a half.”

“Deal,” she says, grinning. “That gives us plenty of time for snuggling after.”

“After?” he asks, grinning back and arching into her. “After what?”

She kisses him instead of responding.


	7. R/N + Sweat (M)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally, I don't post the spoils of the [tumblr prompt memes](http://catty-words.tumblr.com/post/170496851255/send-me-a-number-and-ill-write-a-micro-story) I reblog here on the archive, but ceg is a fandom that sees woefully little fic. So it felt worth it.
> 
> These are all unbeta'd.

“Would you stop wiggling around so much?”

Rebecca stills in the process of shifting onto her stomach, and Nathaniel lets out a grunt of pain.

“Whoops,” she says, jerking her foot away from his crotch. Though it’s far from graceful, she manages to roll off the couch without causing him more bodily harm. “Sorry.”

“And where are you going now?” he asks, practically pouting as she crawls off toward the chest in the corner of the room that’s filled with extra throw blankets.

“I’m coming back,” she assures him, grinning to herself. “I just gotta work off some of this restless energy first.”

“Oh yeah? How’re you gonna do that?”

Ignoring the suggestion in his tone, Rebecca proudly holds up her Shake Weight.

Nathaniel rolls his eyes. “Seriously?”

“You’re the one who’s always telling me to work out more,” she says, pushing to her feet.

“I don’t think this counts.”

“I don’t think I asked for your opinion.”

With a playful frown, he turns his attention back to the television. His focus doesn’t last long, though. Rebecca can feel his eyes tracking her up and down the length of the room by the time she completes a couple circuits.

“Stop it,” she says.

“ _I’m_ not doing anything.”

“I can feel you watching me.”

“Well, you’re very distracting,” he says. “Like a jackhammer. A cute jackhammer with enormous breasts.”

“Don’t make me go put on a bra, perv.”

He holds his hands up in surrender and makes another attempt to watch the movie. A few minutes later, though, his voice breaks her concentration. “Are you seriously breaking a sweat right now?”

“What? No.” She swipes the back of her arm across her forehead and, sure enough, it comes back slick. “Shut up.”

“Uh-huh.” Nathaniel quirks an eyebrow at her and starts to stack the couch pillows around him.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s almost bedtime,” he says. “There’s no way I’m letting you rub your sweaty body all over me.”

“Is that right?”

He places another pillow on top of the pile and crosses his arms. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Rebecca drops the Shake Weight at her feet and smirks.

“Don’t even think about it,” he says.

“Too late,” she says, laughing, and barrels toward him. She hops onto his lap, sending pillows flying and making him groan when her knee connects with his stomach.

“Stop it,” he whines, but he’s laughing, too, unable to help it as she rubs her face into his neck and chin. “That’s disgusting.”

“I’ve got an idea,” she says, lips pressed against his jaw.

He lets out a questioning hum.

“How about we get you to work up a sweat, too. That way we’ll be even.”

“What’d you have in mind?” he asks, fingers flexing against her waist.

She slides off his lap, switches off the TV, and starts backing away in the direction of her room. “It involves—how did you put it? A jackhammer with enormous breasts?”

He’s off the couch before she finishes her sentence.


	8. R/N + Alone, Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Normally, I don't post the spoils of the [tumblr prompt memes](http://catty-words.tumblr.com/post/170496851255/send-me-a-number-and-ill-write-a-micro-story) I reblog here on the archive, but ceg is a fandom that sees woefully little fic. So it felt worth it.
> 
> These are all unbeta'd.

“Thanks for all your help setting up. And cleaning up. And basically being our third, unofficial host,” Rebecca says, squeezing Paula tighter. “I owe you one.”

“Please. You’re the one who did me a favor. I mean, there’s only so much Barber Shop I can take before I become a major hole.”

“When’s the big performance, again?” Nathaniel asks, joining them at the door.

“Next Saturday,” Paula says.

Rebecca cringes. “You’re welcome to crash here a couple nights.”

“No, I couldn’t. I don’t want to get in the way of you guys settling in your new place. Come on.”

Nathaniel throws her a grateful look, and Rebecca hits him in the stomach with the back of her hand.

“But if you really need to get away,” she says, eyeing Paula meaningfully.

“Yeah, okay.”

Nathaniel clears his throat, and hands Paula a stack of Tupperware. “This should be enough for Scott and the boys.”

“That’s sweet. Thanks, you guys.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Rebecca says.

Paula nods and waves as she backs out the condo. “Good night!”

Nathaniel kisses the top of Rebecca’s head as the door clicks shut. “I’m gonna go finish up in the kitchen.”

She groans but trails behind him. “Can’t we do this tomorrow?”

“You’re lackadaisical work ethic really extends to every area of your life, huh?”

She sticks her tongue out at him, and hoists herself up onto a barstool at the kitchen island. “I would have never agreed to move in with you if I knew you were gonna be such a _dic_ tator.”

“Please. I’ve seen the way Heather orders you around. I’m sure you’ll feel right at home.”

“You realize I never did anything Heather told me to, right?”

Nathaniel looks up from the sticky spot he’s trying to scrub off the counter and raises his eyebrows pointedly. “Looks like nothing’s changed.”

She hums in agreement. “Good, glad we’re on the same page when it comes to me doing chores.”

He laughs and returns to the task at hand.

Rebecca watches him closely, appreciating the way the muscles in his forearm tense…the way his lips turn pale pink because he presses them tight whenever he’s concentrating…the way his hair starts to flop over his forehead, loose and wild after a full day. And then all of a sudden it hits her: the realization that this is _their_ place, and he’s using _their_ sponge to clean off _their_ counters in _their_ kitchen.

Wordlessly, she jumps off the stool and slips around the island. He doesn’t get the chance to ask what she’s doing before she’s sliding her hands up around his neck and tugging him down to her.

He kisses her back, his lips warm yet careful—like he knows this is a trap, but isn’t quite sure how. After a moment, he pulls back, far enough that his mouth is out of reach, but not so far that she can’t feel his breath fanning over her face when he lets out a soft sigh. “Rebecca…”

“Nathaniel,” she says back, equally exasperated.

“What are you doing?”

She scratches lightly at the bristly hairs at the nape of his neck and grins when it makes him tremble.

“We’re _home_ ,” she says, earning a contented murmur, “alone, finally.”

The fervor in her voice seems to break his resolve. With a moan, he grabs the back of her thighs and hikes her up into his arms. She lets out a delighted squeak, and hooks her feet behind his back, steadying herself as he walks them to the bedroom.

“What about all the cleaning up we have left?” she asks, teasing.

“You’re such a bad influence,” he says, nipping at her bottom lip before dumping her onto their bed. “But it’ll still be there tomorrow.”


End file.
